Do you have a network you can count on if the chips go against you, making you a minnow or a whale as the saying goes? What about baling you out of jail because some lady at a restaurant suddenly recognized you as a terrorist? Would someone in your network still believe in you enough to help even then?
Bestselling author Harvey Mackay, in his book “Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty”, the only networking book you will ever need” relays a story about himself. In it he says that after a golf game several of his group were conversing about recent events. The issue how far would you go to help a friend and how many real friends do you have that you can really count on came up? He related that most of the rest of his group each figured if they had to call a member of their network at 2 AM and needed $20,000 they would all have only a small handful of potential loaners willing and able to help to that extent.
Then Harvey was asked the same question. He replied he could call on at least 50 members of his network who could help him in just that way! This book was written in 1990, so $20K was a bigger number then even though it is still substantial in 2013, 23 years later. That is someone who has put blood, sweat, and tears into building his network. By the way, his book and even the others he has authored are well worth their money, in my opinion.
He goes on to relate how anyone can create and maintain a network. The acronym R.I.S.K. is how he states it, Reciprocity, Interdependency, Sharing, and Keeping at it. The bottom line is that he writes and still today on his Face Book page puts out positive messages and good core values that he has lived by and still endorses for all human interactions. I subscribe to his blog as well, just because I need to keep many of the MacKay maxim’s refreshed in my mind.
Every empowered volunteer should be increasing their network all the time. Connections between people which are genuine and worthy always help both of you well beyond the tool swapping or stock market tips you might exchange.
Maintaining a network is a particularly powerful way of combating life’s negativity if you are in a bad situation at work or some other place of interactions.
Birds of a feather flock together, so if you are increasing your social capital by increasing the value of your network, you should not only benefit from that tool you borrowed but also from the mental and physical health aspects associated with social connections that are deep and meaningful to both parties.
Another real life example, if you and another family always did things together when suddenly a falling out happened over the children, say criminal things were involved? Would you be able to engage your network for support as well as even finding a new church because the two of you always attended the same one? This is extreme but life is full of extremes. Networks know you and support you in good times as well as down times.
The purpose of a network is to engage in reciprocity, or hook ups as we called them in the Navy. I hook you up with a favor when you need it and you owe me one when I need something. It is like emotional bartering. But it can go much deeper, which is a must if you get a call at 2AM needing something pretty extreme. Even family can balk at that kind of call.
If you want to have folks there for you when you need them, you need to be there for them. This is simple to say but very hard to do in real life when the pressure is on and time is short. How do you get to that point? I have never done this before in a post and I don’t expect to do it very often, but if you really want to know, read Harvey’s book. I can’t imagine a library today that doesn’t have a copy, or hit the book store and get a copy. It long ago came out in paperback.
The quality of the network is supreme, much more than the hundreds or thousands of so called “friends” in a social network on the internet. Use the internet social sites carefully. The networks on the internet don’t give you the face to face contact that builds relationships where one person will go to bat for another. To get that kind of personalized response when you need it, you must build it up face to face over time.
Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph. D. expands on the concept of relationships and their positive or negative nature in her book, Positivity. Barbara writes on how to maintain your positive attitude in reality, not faking it and how much it helps your health and general well-being. She goes on to give specifics on how to deal with negative people as well as how to increase your own positivity in your life.
So even if you have a negative boss (and who hasn’t at one time or another?) or even a negative person in a group you attend on a regular basis, there are strategies you can employ to help your emotional health.
Barbara’s book is from 2009 and already in paper back too.
For the most part nearly all of the wisdom of mankind is contained in books or other published works. Very few of our problems are so unique that we can’t find some worthy guidance in a book or in our network or both. Your network should be able to supplement any personal library, and with a lot more interesting stories than those of people you don’t know. A real good network can enhance a library and enrich your life. Use both for the most bang from your emotional buck.
Enjoy building your network.
199 thoughts on “Networking as if your life depended on it!”
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I am glad your mind felt read! LOL, I wrote a book on this subject years ago but it did not make the interest of the publishers. I am considering updating the information from 2005 and self-publishing it. I am glad you will return. If you like the information, check out the Face Book page with the same name. I put a ton of information on that page too.
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I am glad you liked the post on Networking as if your life depended on it.
I really don’t know about your comment on brain dead people.
Currently this site is associated with a FB site of the same name.
You can use the button provided to check out the site if you want to.
Enjoy the posts and stop back soon!
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I’m curious to find out what blog platform you are utilizing? I’m having some minor security problems with my latest site and I’d like to find something more secure. Do you have any solutions?
Rickie, I have had a dozen inquiries today on that subject. I use WordPress with a free theme. My only security issue right now is the nearly 100 spams per day I am getting. I don’t think I am nearly big enough for targeting of security hits nor am I posting anything that is going to inflame people so I would hope to just post great content and perhaps persuade some people to join volunteer groups. The world wins if I can ever get this blog to be read by a large enough number of people to reflect a membership increase in volunteer groups world wide! That is my dream at least.
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Antonio,
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I plan on posting an average of 2 times per week. I spend tons of time researching my data to support all of the conclusions I have posted about. I want the latest and best researched data for my readers. That takes time.
Ditto to Ginny re: posting the earlier letters for new subscribers. Alsocan you notify us who wrote the January letters?
Veta Gaudenzi,
You are confused. This blog is newer than January so no posts were made back then. You are confusing me with some other blog. However, since you have found me, please consider returning and also sharing the posts you like with your network by the social medial buttons located on the top and bottom of each post.
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I am not sure of the long time part as I have only been posting for a couple of months though. You sure that it is my blog you have been following? Anyway, check back frequently and if you like a post, share it with your network so that the benefits from networking can be had by all of your Texas friends!
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Interesting…. Brady I am VERY certain of my “arguments” that revolve around the empowered volunteer concept. Thanks for stopping by though.
The Shining…Jack Nicholson built the movie the scariest!
Ok, but what does this have to do with networking? Thanks for stopping by!
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Mica, you have a good question there.
I do have a twitter account but I am so new that I have concentrated on the blogging and I have not even explored twitter. So forgive me! Right now if you want to keep up with the blog posts, use the RSS button at the top of the page, right side. Face Book is there too, I have tons more content on the FB page associated with this blog. I will try and get my twitter account up and running since you mentioned it! Thanks for stopping by and please share the posts using the social media buttons!!! Share, share, share!
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Welcome. Use the RSS button to keep up with each post as it is created and published. Then share the posts you like with your social network using the buttons provided. Share, share, share.
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Additionally please share the posts you find worthy with your network using the social media buttons located on the top and bottom of each post. You can also get notices of the new posts by using the RSS button located on the top of the site, upper right hand side. The FaceBook button is right next to it. Enjoy and Welcome to EVRA!!!
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I hope you visit EVRA soon and often Mcgaffey@harvard.edu.
Additionally please share the posts you find worthy with your network using the social media buttons located on the top and bottom of each post.
You can also get notices of the new posts by using the RSS button located on the top of the site, upper right hand side.
The FaceBook button is right next to it.
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Additionally please share the posts you find worthy with your network using the social media buttons located on the top and bottom of each post.
You can also get notices of the new posts by using the RSS button located on the top of the site, upper right hand side.
The FaceBook button is right next to it.
Enjoy and Welcome to EVRA!!!
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Additionally please share the posts you find worthy with your network using the social media buttons located on the top and bottom of each post.
You can also get notices of the new posts by using the RSS button located on the top of the site, upper right hand side.
The FaceBook button is right next to it.
Enjoy and Welcome to EVRA!!!
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Thanks for the kind words. I use wordpress, which you can see on the pages. I use a free theme, which wordpress has hundreds. I am on my third one, the first two did not have the features that I needed. All you can do is figure out what your needs are and then find a theme that supports your needs.
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Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your articles?
I mean, what you say is valuable and everything.
But think of if you added some great visuals or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”!
Your content is excellent but with images and video clips, this website could
certainly be one of the greatest in its niche.
Fantastic blog!
Right now nothing is driving me towards videos. This blog is about content and unless we derive a demand for instructional videos for the empowered volunteer for certain situations we are not likely to venture into that area anytime soon.
As for images, between the two blogs I have been running for just about 3 months, NEVER has one of them went up without visuals. The one you are commenting on has a visual. I have since learned to find visuals rather than take my own like this one was and they have increased in frequency and also relationship to the other content, intended to be complimentary even and advance the message from that paragraph the visual is arranged next to.
As for the greatest in my niche, thanks for thinking I can do that. It is very lofty aspirations.
Right now, my target audience is so well defined and specific that I don’t truly have competition. I simply have to drive home the message so that the groups notice me.
I don’t know of any other blog who is trying to rebuild America through volunteer groups. If I locate one, I would be happy to contact them for potential synergy. The cause is the main thing, not my ego or my personal image. We need to return this country to the greatness we enjoyed in years past and this is my contribution towards that end.
I had never figured my message through this blog would reach so many outside the US. But I am very happy to take this message world wide earlier than my long range plans previously held. My plan to get this program working well in America before taking the message to the world can be adapted to both messages reaching everyone if that is what continues. I have no problem teaching SWOT and it’s application to world wide volunteer groups for their application for their country and their local needs! The process will work anywhere, with social capital becoming the driving force for generating measurable results. This message is worthy for so many applications that I am no longer even worrying where it will go next. I only want improvements to be made and hopefully sustained.
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I’ve learn a few just right stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how much effort you place to create such a great informative web site.
How much effort? Depends on how you evaluate the information gathering process. I have lived the empowered volunteer life to some extent so that is where my deep knowledge of the process of membership building comes from. I was a Navy Recruiter in the 80′s when it was neither fun or cool to be one. I had to become successful during a war (Gulf 1) and other issues. Then I have been involved in volunteering in many groups for years. Then in 2005 I wrote the book, which was never published attempting to put forth my solutions to the issue Harvard scientist Robert Pitman first identified in Bowling Alone, concerning the huge impact America’s many fraternal and veterans groups have had on society and how they were unable to keep up with demand due to loss of members. I figured my solution would work! So effort is relative. I have thousands of hours into making this information valuable, real, and hopefully mission oriented for American’s, and eventually the world to take action. I guess I have only a bit of effort? LOL
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How long do you want them to be?
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